We work so hard to get our towns and cities to approve off-leash spaces for our dogs and to provide resources at and for our parks (e.g., water). I’m not about to relinquish these great opportunities for my dogs on account of a handful of bad or unknowing owners who are ruining the experience for everyone else. That said: I believe in keeping my own dogs safe and happy around dogs. Here are some tips for how you can make sure you enjoy your dog park visit too.

1. Know your dog. How old is she? Is he good with dogs of all ages, both male and female? Can he deal with a bigger crowd or does he only relax if the park is less crowded? Don’t put your dog in the park if he or she will be aggressive or overly fearful.
2. Learn the patterns of the park. What are the standard shifts, the cliques, and “problem dogs?” Time your visits based on avoiding known aggressive dogs or the group mentality that arises when a group of people will excuse bad behavior from a dog they all know, because “that dog is always like that.”
   

   Do you trust this dog?

3. Don’t judge a dog by its breed. Judge the owner and the entire package – certain owners have certain kinds of dogs (and give them names/collars/etc.) to express a particular attitude or status. For example, a 20 something year old dude with an unneutered Pit named Rocky and a spiky collar MAY have a well-adjusted dog. However, it pays to be careful of dogs whose OWNERS seem to be trying to project an image. Be especially wary of “weekend warriors” – people who keep their dogs cooped up all week and let them loose at the park on Saturday mid-day or Sunday. These dogs often have too much energy than they know what to do with. Which leads me to…
4. Pay attention to the dogs. Watch your dog. Keep an eye & ear out for areas of conflict and steer your dog away from the hotspots if they sound problematic. Problems often happen either on initial entry to the park or when large human “packs” stand together with many dogs milling around. Figure out which dogs like to express dominant behavior (standing over another dog, putting a head on another dog’s shoulder or back, or mounting). Notice how different breeds give off play signals. Some dogs growl or vocalize as part of play, so it is important to learn what play growling is like and how it differs from warning growls. And, of course, WATCH YOUR DOG. Even if you’re talking to a friend or spouse or someone new. Most problems begin to happen when no person is watching.
5. Practice your recall with your dog. When you think you’ve got it, practice again with more distractions. You want to know that as things start to escalate at the park, you can call your dog out of it and get him or her to follow you instead.
6. It takes a village. Don’t be afraid to correct another dog verbally or with your body language if it is starting to engage in minor dominant acts that could escalate. A firm “hey” or “off” with a step toward a dog will get most dogs at the park to back-off (think calm assertive!). It is rare to find an owner who will object to this if you do it calmly, firmly and matter of fact. Many owners do not realize that their dog is displaying dominant behavior, and it is not productive to argue with them or yell at the dog. And, of course, many owners who have dogs who do this stuff aren’t really watching them anyway.
7. Don’t be a Know-it-All. Have short comments or suggestions that do not put people on the defensive. It often works to say things like, “Lady doesn’t like it when he puts his head on her shoulder, because that’s not how she likes to play.” Yes, you may feel ridiculous. But the dog park is not the place to lecture other owners. We’ve had someone hear from us that Lady isn’t comfortable with other dominant acts, and then the owner was correcting her own dogs and saying, “Knock it off! She doesn’t like that!”…which is exactly what we were trying to accomplish.
   

   Fun or Fight?

8. Avoid actual conflicts. Do not get between fighting dogs unless you already know what to do. The time to be vigilant is before a fight starts. Try not to get involved if other owners start to argue. If you involve yourself or walk toward the situation, your dogs will follow. Imagine if everyone does the same thing. Now an argument between one or two people is set up for pack fighting.  Don’t rubberneck. Unless the safety of a person or child is in jeopardy, stay away.
9. Use caution in on-leash trails or areas. Be careful about allowing your dog to go off-leash in areas that are not officially designated as off-leash. This includes things like walking from the car to the dog park or if you go places that are officially supposed to be on-leash (trails in a park). Depending on the situation, you may encounter unfriendly dogs (on-leash or off-leash), horses, other animals, inattentive drivers or mountain bikers, etc. The fact that some dogs are off-leash is not proof that it is ’safe.’ Get to know any environment well before allowing your dog off-leash.
10. Obey the rules. Clean up after your dog. Give advice if someone asks, but only if you actually have knowledge or experience. Don’t bring dog treats, people food or young children to the park. Be a model citizen, and you will earn the respect of the others. 

The reason I am starting my series of book reviews with this novel is that Marley & Me is a great example of what works – and what does not work – in the dog memoir genre. And on the whole, Marley & Me works. Grogan deftly mixes humor and heart to create a poignant, loving tale. He avoids the pitfall of placing the humans at the forefront of the story. Though the novel tells of how John & Jenny became The Grogan Family of Five + Dog, the spotlight is always on Marley, the dog.

As experienced dog owners or rescue workers know, Marley was hardly the world’s worst dog. What works? John Grogan knows this too. Reading the book, you can’t help but feel as though his references to Marley as the world’s worst dog are purely tongue-in-cheek. There is a sheepish recognition throughout the book that while Marley may be goofy or high-energy or even “have a screw loose,” his behavior is the responsibility of (and often the fault of) the Grogan family.

What makes Marley and Grogan so relatable is that we’ve ALL been there. My dogs may be nothing like Marley, and I instill the “rules, boundaries, limitations” concepts that the Grogans clearly failed to embrace for Marley (though they have for their subsequent pup, Gracie). Maybe I am the owner often getting compliments from others about how sweet and well-behaved my dog is. Yet I *still* know exactly how it feels to be that sheepish dog owner whose dog isn’t perfect. I know how it feels to have a disapproving obedience trainer tell me gruffly, “Well, you can just work on that at home,” when my 70 lb lab can’t be forced into the right position like the little lap dogs in the class can. I know how it feels when you want to slink away when your dog drinks too much seawater and leaves behind a watery poop in the sand on the beach that you can’t figure out how to clean up. I know how it feels when your dog quietly snags the leftover pizza you were going to have for dinner and sneaks off into his crate to enjoy a guilty snack.

All in one swoop, Marley & Me reminds us, “You are not alone. There is this community of dog people, and we know exactly how it feels when our dogs goof,” at the same time that it makes us count our blessings – and renew our resolve – about our own, generally obedient, dogs.

As Grogan has pointed out both in the novel and elsewhere, the column he wrote as Marley’s eulogy sparked a tremendous response, unlike any other column he had written. The outpouring was a sharing of love; readers are touched by Marley – and Grogan’s love for him – because Marley and Grogan are so relatable. We all love our dogs, unconditionally, despite their flaws (sometimes because of them). And we all know the tremendous grief that comes with the fact that dogs live between 1/7  and 1/8 of the amount of time we do, at best. To me, the novel works as a book-long eulogy to Marley. If you haven’t read this book yet, I highly recommend it. But be forewarned: if you are troubled or depressed to read about aging and mortality in dogs, this is not the book for you. I’ve come to expect that the canine protagonist won’t make it to the end of the novel in this genre, and if I’m not in the right mood to handle it, I wait until I am ready to read.

The other issue I’d like to touch on here is the general topic of books by imperfect owners. This is a subject that crops up for the readers of many books in the dog memoir genre. Marley & Me is not without its detractors. I enjoyed the book, even the parts that had me reaching for tissues. Wanting to understand what made people dislike Marley & Me, I took the time to read through the 1 star and 2 star reviews. The overwhelming majority of negative responses were written by reviewers who could not look past what I’ll categorize as “bad ownership.”

Some critiques are holistic in approach about the Grogans as bad owners, essentially noting that if you had a textbook of how to be a good owner, from start to finish, the Grogans got it wrong. To me, this type of criticism is missing the point of the book. Grogan is celebrating and reflecting on Marley’s life. Both the narrative of the novel and John Grogan outside of the novel (e.g., on his Dog Whisperer appearance) have acknowledged that they didn’t do their homework before getting a puppy, didn’t properly train Marley, didn’t necessarily find the best training methods for his destructive or anxious behaviors, and so on. “Marley & Me: Life and Love with a Dog whom I trained to overcome his high-energy, nervous anxious temperament using patience, rules and advanced dog training techniques” would not make for nearly as engaging nor heartfelt a novel. Beyond that, the Grogans didn’t do it all wrong. Marley was neutered. Marley did pass an obedience class. Marley got routine walks. Marley got along with dogs and people. The book highlights Marley’s disobedience and neurosis. Buried in there, though, is a mix of good and bad. While the Grogans were not the perfect dog owners, Marley could have done worse.

I am more sympathetic to and understanding of the negative reviews that focus on specific events or incidents that caused Marley physical or emotional pain. I understand that some dog lovers do not like to read about any dog being mistreated or suffering. Jenny’s reaction when she’s had it with Marley, the method in which Marley is taught not to jump on people, and even the circumstances surrounding Marley’s comfort in his latter days are all cringe-worthy aspects to this novel. Yet Grogan is not bragging nor claiming to have found the right training methods or approach to dogs. Ignoring these events or white-washing them would have created a profoundly dishonest story, undermining the realness that makes Marley & Me so touching.

There are currently over 20,000 labrador retrievers listed for adoption on petfinder.com. Marley could have easily been one of those listings. The Grogans were not ‘ready’ for a hyperactive & dominant lab puppy when they purchased Marley. Instead of giving up on him, they tried as best they knew at the time to love him and teach him to inhabit their strange (to him) world. John Grogan has written a beautiful – and cautionary – tale for any would-be dog owner. Approximately 5 million copies of Marley & Me have sold. I can only hope that the popularity of Marley & Me helps lead to a reduction in those petfinder numbers of unwanted labs.

Are you ready to skate with your dog?

Don't Do It

Keep it Simple

Novice – You are able to skate, turn, and stop. You can navigate around large or obvious obstacles. You may still struggle controlling your speed going downhill or get nervous going too fast. If you fall, it’s because you hit a rough patch on the ground or something moved at you suddenly.

What to do: Find friendly places and times to get started skating with dogs. You’re not ready for traffic or an excited dog. Look for an empty parking lot or off-road trail where you can practice with your dog when he is tired, and you don’t have to worry about holding onto the leash securely. Focus on making it a positive and fun experience for you and the dog by staying within your limits.

Expand your Horizons

Intermediate - You are comfortable on skates, and you are able to maintain speed & safely turn or stop. Normal inclines or declines don’t phase you, and you’re fine with any skate-able surface, including dips or uneven pavement/stone. You can hold something in your hand and skate at the same time, even if it feels weird.

What to do: You are road-ready, and you can take your dog out in low traffic situations to get comfortable with the sights, sounds and smells of skating. Focus on learning how to use a leash (or cord) while skating with your dog. Practice directional commands with your dog as you explore new environments.

Ready for Anything

Advanced - You have experience inline or ice skating in challenging or competitive situations, such as hockey, speed-skating, figure skating, or aggressive inline skating (i.e., trick skating), but now you want to add a dog (or dogs) to your adventures. Or maybe you have some experience skating with a dog, and you’re looking to increase the number of dogs you take with you or the difficulty of the terrain.

What to do: Scout the new environments without the dog(s) first, looking through the situation in the eyes of your dog. What will be his or her biggest challenges? How will you deal with that? Use walks or runs together to practice the behavior you want from your dog when skating.

Experts Only

Expert – You already know how to skate with dogs. Piece of cake. No environment is too tough for you. No dog is too difficult.

What to do: Pay attention to the weather, because it’s not always suitable for skates or your dog. Share your abilities with others – coach skating, become a “dog skater,” and don’t forget to have fun.

 

 

Disclaimer: Skating with Dogs exposes you and your dog to all sorts of hazards. This advice is not intended as professional skating, dog training or legal advice. Be careful!

The social norm has always been that pets are not invited, and dog owners are the ones trying to change this, because we believe that dogs (and often people) are happier and healthier being included. Dealing with the “no dogs, please” invitation is my reality, and I have found myself in some sticky situations trying to balance being a considerate guest (or host) and the well-being of my dogs.

Not my Dogs

I never thought I’d be one of those dog people who always wants to bring the dog to social outings. Nah, those people are crazy. They dress their dogs in costumes, feed them people food only, put them in a purse or stroller, and use baby-talk. I am nothing like them.

Then we adopted Lady, who is extremely social and outgoing, far more than I am. Her mantra really is “I just met you and I love you.” (Squirrel) 

All of a sudden, I *was* one of those dog people. I wanted the default to be that Lady (and now Rusty too) *do* get invited with me. Not that I think the dogs should go everywhere I go. There definitely are inappropriate settings for bringing pets, no matter how well-trained or well-behaved they are. I’m not looking to take my dogs to cocktail hours, wedding or funerals. I’m also respectful of people who are allergic or who have phobias.

Even in situations where the dogs are allowed or invited, I have to make a judgment call about what the experience will be like. If I’m supervising the dogs, then I’m not able to socialize freely. This is especially true if children will be around. My dogs love kids, and kids tend to love my dogs, but you have to watch the interactions carefully, and in my experience, it’s the dog owner, not the parent, who winds up being that constant presence. When dealing with “kid tolerant” dogs, it is YOUR job to ensure that your dog is not getting overly stressed by the encounters. It’s also harder to have a good experience if the food will be spread out and/or easily accessible. If I’ll have to leash or crate the dog the entire time to prevent him from stealing food or if I’ll be concerned about someone feeding my dog something she’s not supposed to have…then is this really a place for my dogs?

All in all, I try to be reasonable. I find it frustrating living in a default world that favors leaving your dog(s) at home. I find it equally frustrating that there are pet owners who want to bring their dogs when it would not be appropriate, due to either the setting or the dog’s behavior. The best way to get repeat invitations – and avoid that dreaded “No Dogs, Please” tag – is to be model human and canine cititzens.

Tomorrow, we’re invited to a friend’s house for lunch. Despite the fact that they have a senior citizen canine, and that they love our dogs (and our dogs love them, their dog, their kids, and their yard), we received that disappointing “Don’t bring the dogs” request. Other guests of theirs have a toddler who is uncomfortable around the dogs. Though we’ve had that family with the toddler over to our own house (& even shared an overnight rental house before!) – and we’ve managed to keep everyone separate and happy – it is our hosts’ decision to decide what is reasonable and best for all involved.

At the same time that they expressed regrets to our dogs for this social event, though, they invited them to come over for a special doggie “playdate” sometime in the next week.

Am I bummed? No. Not really. I was disappointed at first. It is a minor inconvenience in scheduling the day (to get the dogs tired before we go). But you know what? My dogs don’t know. They don’t know where we’ll be. They would have had fun there. They aren’t going to sit around the house thinking about missing out on a nice summer lunch. They’ll play with each other, take a nap, chew a toy. They’ll get exercise earlier in the morning and later in the day. And they’ll still get a chance to see those friends, play with their dog, explore that yard. It just won’t be tomorrow.

Bottom line: Don’t turn a common sense decision not to invite your dog into a personal snub. Your dog isn’t insulted. And if everyone is exhibiting common courtesy, you shouldn’t be insulted either.

Sample Entry for Lady’s Home Journal: Woke up. Wagged my tail a lot, making sure to wake up Rusty and all humans. Got tired wagging tail. Went to sleep on the couch for a bit. No, I didn’t need to pee or go outside. I just wanted to wake everyone else anyway. Ha-ha-ha. Now you’re awake while I’m snoozing on the couch. WALK. Did someone say WALK? Big stretch. Went for walk. Neighborood hasn’t changed. Damn. It’s hot outside. I’m going to lie on the kitchen tile to cool off until someone feeds me breakfast. Maybe I’ll chew on the toy Rusty wants. Nah. Still too busy panting to cool down.

Riveting stuff, no? I suspect that Gary Larson’s interpretation of my dogs’ lives is probably more accurate.

Truth is: I’m a sucker for dog books. I read almost all of them, though I’ve started to figure out which books I enjoy, which books feel like a waste of my time, and which books enrage or trouble me. In posts to come, I will review dog books to share my recommendations and hopefully create an ongoing dialogue about what makes for a good dog book.

To start off, I want to point out that there is no such thing as a genre of “dog books” even if they get grouped together in library catalogues or on Amazon.com. There are books about specific dog breeds or other encyclopedic categorizations of canines. There are books providing scientific information about dogs. There are How to books aimed at bringing dogs into the home or training them. There are things people can learn from dogs books, and there are things people should understand about dogs for the sake of the dogs books. Last, but not least, there are the memoirs, the books that focus on the stories, experiences and insights of the author and his or her own dog(s). Many literary efforts weave a narrative by combining various elements of  the different book types into one unified whole.

The memoirs are often the most interesting of the dog books, yet they can also be the most controversial. In the process of sharing the tales of human and canine lives, it’s the dog owner as protagonist who is opening him or herself up for critique – both self-reflection and from outsiders (that would be you & me). So that’s where I plan to start, with John Grogan, Ted Kerasote, Jon Katz, Elizabeth Marshall Thomas and more. 

Pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and join me in this exploration about what makes for a good dog book.

Put me in coach!

Over the summer, hockey players – young and old – are preparing themselves for the upcoming season. If you’re one of them, here is what you can gain from skating with dogs:

1. Head on a Swivel - Hockey players need to be aware of their surroundings, constantly looking around to identify teammates (pass!), opponents (look out!), and opportunities (shoot!). Skating with dogs forces you to do the same thing, constantly looking around to identify friendlies (other dogs! people!), hostiles (traffic! unfriendly dogs! crazy neighbor!), and what your dog sees as opportunity (rabbit! squirrel! bird!). You have no Zamboni to smooth the surface for you, no teammates to call out to you….it’s just you, your swivel head and the dog(s). Your anticipation separates you from the asphalt.
2. Good Hands  - You communicate to your dog through the leash. You’ll need soft hands to eliminate tension on the line & you’ll use quick, gentle tugs to maintain your dog’s focus. Switching which hand the leash is in, as a dog weaves behind you (or sometimes in front of you) develops good hands, good reflexes, and good balance. After skating with dogs, you’ll be ready for fancier stick manuevering, and you’ll be quicker and better balanced in situations that require one hand only on your stick, like knocking down pucks in the air with your glove.
3. Strength as a Screen (or on the puck) - On the ice, you want the kind of stability on your skates and strength in your core that keeps other players from being able to move you or knock you down. Try standing still on inline skates while dogs try to chase a rabbit. How’s that for standing your ground! By skating with a dog (or more than one), you are developing the skills that make you strong on your feet, strong on the puck, and strong in front of the net. And getting a dog who wants to stand still moving practices the leverage you’ll need to move other players.
   

   Two Minutes for Slashing

4. Watch your Mouth & Control Your Reaction – Both on and off the ice, you will encounter those who have no regard for your safety or who blatantly have something against you for no good reason (they don’t like your team, don’t like dogs, etc.). Someone blazing down a residential street at 45 mph is no different from a guy lining you up to hit you when your back is turned to him. Whether it’s the folks whose unleashed dogs chase you down the street or the guy threatening to call the cops on you because he hates dogs, your dogs NEED you to stay calm and display Captain-ly leadership. There is no dropping leashes as though they were gloves, so you’ll have to learn maturity. And with all the idiots people out there, you most certainly will.
5. Knocked down? Get up Again!  - No matter how careful you are, no matter how good a skater you are, no matter how awesome your dogs are, you WILL fall down. When you skate with dogs, falling is inevitable. And unless you are knocked out or have broken your leg (or another lower extremity), you must GET UP, gather your dogs, and finish your ”shift.” Only once you’ve made it home do you get to lick your wounds….and watch out, because your dogs will want to. Literally.  

Don't mess with the swans!

The payoff? Two low-energy dogs this morning! Remember that dog energy tanks operate on a “roll-over” basis. You can’t make up an entire week’s deficit of insufficient exercise by turning your dog into a weekend warrior. And the benefits of a particularly intense day or night will spill over into the next day.

I skated with the dogs separately, something I rarely do. Lady was even less energetic than I expected. She trotted at a perfect heel even leaving the driveway, and once we got going, her sprint maxed out at Usain Bolt distance. We missed peak morning critter hour, so there was nothing to light a fire under her. No rabbits, no squirrels, nada. It was a calm, slow trot, and it let me scout how well the blocks in our neighborhood have recovered from the most recent storm.

Rusty had a bit more energy than Lady, though some of it was pent up energy from not getting to go with me and Lady first. He even refused treats for training in the waiting time! I took the opportunity in working solo with Rust to practice a slower exit from the yard to the street. Lately, he’s been waiting at the gate on command, and then rushing and pulling so hard to get to the street once given the Okay that it’s become a hazard. Today, I made him stop and sit and wait a few times in the process of heading from the gate to the street. He listened just fine; he’ll need more training to make it a habit, just like with anything else that’s not instinctive to dogs. 

Textbook Trotting

He was great on the skate in general – running happily beside me and then falling into a comfortable trot. We had to pass a bulldozer removing trees, and he handled it like a pro. We slowed down together and passed when it was clear, Rust in a perfect heel.

Rusty is so *good* at the actual skating part of the trip that it makes his reckless energy to “get to the skating already!” all the more silly and annoying. Lady’s version of helping to correct Rusty for a poor yard exit is to mouth his neck and try to start wrestling once we’re already in the street, and they are both running alongside one another. I appreciate her concern, but I think I’ll stick with my method of making him stop and sit.

There are three key aspects to skating with dogs:

1. Your skating ability
2. Your dog’s behavior (& how many dogs you will be taking)
3. The environment where you intend to skate 

The most important piece of the puzzle is YOUR skating ability. Ask yourself the following questions: How long have you been skating? How often do you fall under “typical” skating conditions? How aware of your surroundings are you when you skate? What do you plan to do about a leash, if it is legally required or necessary for safety? Can you hold something in your hand while you skate? Wear a backpack or small shoulder bag?

Next is your dog. Will your dog run or trot beside you in a heel? Will your dog lunge or pull toward other people, dogs, or small critters outside? Is your dog likely to get spooked by cars or bicycles blazing by on his side? Does your dog know commands like “stay” or “wait” or even “stop?” If your dog is untethered, will he or she come when called, even outside? If you want to bring more than one dog, do the dogs behave with one another on a standard walk? How much does your dog weigh compared to you? (Note that you may be responsible for stopping your dog sometimes.)

Last, you have to think about the environment. Will you be skating in the street or on an off-road trail? What traffic and other hazards will you have to navigate? Are there any steep hills? If you want to skate on a trail, how crowded is it? Who are you “sharing the road” with – walkers? bikers? strollers & families with children?

You don’t need to be an advanced skater taking a perfectly obedient dog to an empty trail or parking lot to enjoy skating with dogs. However, before you can set out together, you do need to be brutally honest and conservative about your own abilities, those of your dog, and the environment you plan to skate in. In upcoming posts, I will discuss each of these three elements in more detail. Until then, happy skating!

Rusty poses for the camera

Rusty is still a teenager in doggie-terms. He’ll turn 2 in October. Think there is no such thing as second chances? Rust is proof to the contrary. He’s a twice rescued dog, both times a result of circumstances wholly out of his control. He was first adopted as a puppy from a shelter by a volunteer worker. Then when an aggressive cancer took the life of his loving owner, Rusty found himself needing to be re-homed. Enter labs4rescue. With his touching story, photogenic face and calm demeanor, a number of families stepped up to offer this sweet boy a home. We’re fortunate that ultimately he joined ours.

What breed is Rusty? We couldn’t say! His ears and his nose-first behavior definitely say hound. The best guess we’ve heard so far is rhodesian ridgeback. Alas, without a ridge, and with a lab-style muzzle, it’s pretty clear that Rust is probably a “hound-lab mix,” which is the polite word for MUTT.

Rusty knows that he doesn’t get to run and explore on skating (or walking, biking or running) adventures unless he can sit in a calm, submissive manner. But it’s hard not to laugh when you take out the leash & skates, and Rust tries to control his excitement by sitting, and he’s so intent and serious about maintaining the SIT that he literally falls over backwards!

Looking for an athletic, yet sportsmanly dog? Look no further than Ms. LAdy Bing. This is Lady Bing (feel free to search to find out why the spelling has been changed), focused on what she was bred to do: fetch tennis balls. 

Lady is a 2 year old black labrador retriever, who was surrended to a shelter, despite being one of the sweetest and most loving dogs the family had ever met. Her crime? She is “incompatible with livestock.” Apparently, Ms. Bing, a field lab – who acts like she came from a hunting breeder - did *not* get the memo that she was supposed to befriend the neighborhood goats and chickens. Or maybe she was a little bit TOO friendly. We’ll never know.

Their loss was our gain. Thanks to the large rescue umbrella of labs4rescue, Lady charmed her way into my home and family. Lady is a quintissential example of black dog syndrome - an absolutely awesome physical specimen, a dog with beautiful house manners & the sweetest disposition that was just waiting to be adopted. It took all of 6 months for Lady to go from new adoptee to passing the TDI certification test to be a therapy dog.

Lady loves to run and explore the neighborhood alongside me as I skate, but more than anything she loves to swim and retrieve in the water.